One of the challenges of going through a difficult time can be allowing yourself to admit you don’t know what to do about it. This realisation can be terrifying and confusing, and we have all learned strategies to avoid this reality. We may have never been allowed the space to struggle with the experience of not knowing.
Often, we have been taught to present ourselves as someone who can always cope, and this causes us to easily default into a mask of pretending we are ok. Others may have come to rely on us to be the person who always knows how to help, and it can feel impossible to change this perception due to the affect it may have on them.
We may believe that saying we don’t know means we are a failure. We can then lose confidence in our ability to solve problems and feel that it means we have lost hope of finding a way forward in our lives.
The surprising thing about finally admitting we don’t really know what do is that doing this can create the space to help you better grapple with your dilemma.
Allowing yourself to feel the anxiety, despair and anger that often comes when we face barriers in our lives is an act of self-compassion that helps you to begin to heal the pain of your situation. This is a humbling experience that can help you to see your struggle as an understandable response to the challenge of our human condition and learn to offer yourself support in the suffering you are experiencing.
The honesty of allowing yourself space to fully experience being stuck can free up energy to generate new ideas and creative solutions. If you can also be open with others that you trust it can allow them to help you process your experiences and support you to shift your perspectives.
Practicing the art of “not knowing” can be a helpful stance to cultivate to help you find your way through challenging times.